Relationships......

Here's a question - why do some of us go back to relationships that didn't work the first time?  Do we really think we can MAKE it work if we had a second try at it?  What makes us think there could be a chance that it works a second time?  The old adage of "if once you don't succeed, try, try again" really doesn't fit when it comes to bad relationships.  The adage should change to - if once you don't succeed - RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!! 


Throwing out the trash!!

My sister once likened a bad relationship that failed the first time to opening a carton of spoiled milk.  Would you dare put it back in the refrigerator thinking it will get fresh if given more time?  YUCK!!!  It's more likely to curd up and gag you if you try opening the carton later.  No, instead, we dump the remainder down the sink and wash the stink out with warm water before dumping it in the trash.  And the same should happen with former relationships.  End them - once and for all!!

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But this, then leads me to another question - must bitterness always accompany a broken relationship? If so, why? Why do we almost despise the person we thought we loved sooo much? Is it naive to think a break-up could possibly render at least a civil relationship between the people involved?   Or is it "'once bitten, twice shy" so therefore, I shall hate you for all eternity!!" WOW!! Wasn't it just a few months earlier he/she was the light of your life, the "ying to your yang", the hope that all creation could be as good as he - or she?

Ooops - I did it again....

Here is my sad reality: I've been in an on again - off again relationship for the past two years (more off than on) that has just taken its toll on me. It was bad from the start, both of us knowing that it would never lead to some grand "Bogie and Bacall", but I - and I'm sure he too, to a point - was head-strong in what I wanted; I wanted him - and the relationship. I've written about this relationship in quasi vague terms in past blogs. I've said before it was bad, but it was exciting, I believe I even called it severe at one point. It didn't work the first time around - there was no way it would work for us. But then, rather than chalking it up to a bad relationship and bad choice, in spite of its severity and intensity, when he came calling again, I answered the phone again - and embarrasingly - even a third time.   DID I LOSE MY HEAD SOMEWHERE AND DIDN'T REALIZE IT??? (uhhh - ya think???)  The answer, of course, is I did lose my head. And the sad fact is I knew better.   It was I - after all -  who wrote earlier that we should "follow your heart, but take your head with you"? Seems I didn't even follow my own advice.  Bad Me!! Bad-Bad Me!!!

So now the relationship is over - yet again.  I can promise there will NOT be a fourth - I threw that carton of milk down the sink this time, washed out the carton with warm water, and threw that sucker in the trash!!  But how sad that the relationship ends - yet again with hurt bitter feelings.  Why did it have to end this way?  Sometimes I think that had the previous times ended civily, we may not have reverted back to that horrid relationship.  Had we be able to be civil with each other, we may have just moved on without a second glance, heck, or third for that fact.

Maybe for me three times IS the charm!  But sadly, at least for me, there is nothing to look back on with fondness.  Only disappointment and disdain ( disappointment for myself, and disdain for him).  So there's another relationship that ends - no chance of civility - not a snowball's chance in hell for a friendship. 

How sad....