Just My Point of View

I read an article a couple of days ago that gave me pause.  Facebook, the social website which boasts of over a billion (estimate) users world wide, was going to do a better job at blocking "hate-speech" from being posted on its website.   This stemmed from alleged derogatory remarks made toward women.  The article stated that many women's groups were quite upset with lack of Facebook's ability to keep this speech from reaching its website, and the company apologized from using outdated systems in order to catch this type of speech before it hit the world-wide web.  It also promised to do a better job and update its systems.

Now, some may think that I would view this as a good thing.  I mean - I don't like "hate speech" any more than the next lady or gentleman, and especially when I personally am offended by it.  However, it is possible that what I see as offensive may not be viewed the same way to another.  And granted, I'm sure that what was posted and ruffled the feathers of these women's groups, I would also find offensive; but here's the thing - and this is how I truly feel - blocking or removing offensive speech just because it is viewed by certain groups as offensive violates one of our most fundamental and basis beloved rights guaranteed by the First Amendment to the Constitution.  If you forgot what it says, here it is: "Congress shall make no laws ... abridging the freedom of speech...." I purposely left out the remainder since they aren't really relevant to this matter.

Should the mega social network make it its duty to decide what is or isn't offensive, or what should or shouldn't be posted on its website? In my opinion, no, this should not be allowed.  Offensive speech indeed is just that - offensive. Offensive speech's purpose may anger or hurt the readers. But it's still speech, and it's still - from what I understand - defended by the First Amendment.

So why would I be defending offensive speech?  Because - if Facebook has the ability to deem certain speech as offensive due to certain groups not liking it, couldn't it, then, decide that other speech such as political speech, religious speech, or sexual preference speech is offensive and remove it from the website's page?  If it is allowed to block one, what else can it block?  Couldn't it block me from posting anything on its site?  Couldn't it then also block you?

Facebook founders opened themselves up for this kind of speech by opening this site for anyone and everyone to join its social network.  That includes the good and the bad.  Unfortunately, there are words and points of view that I don't agree, but I'm not going to go about demandiing that FB remove the writer from the site.  Why? because we all have the right to free speech.

The Supreme Court, when faced numerous times with the question of what was offensive speech decided that all speech - (except that which incites, or screaming "fire" in a crowded theater) - is Constitutionally protected, and cannot be infringed upon.  Justice Scalia, by far one of the most, if not
the most conservative justices always sides with free speech even when it offends him, like in the flag burning case.  As he said, the guy burning the flag could be the most dastard character, but his freedom of expression (another form of speech) could not be suppressed when he chose to demonstrate it by burning the American flag.  Again, in Hill v. Colorado (2000), a case narrowly related here,  Scalia said something in his dissent that struck me as most poignant here.  He said "[i]f protecting people from unwelcome communications... is a compelling state interest, the First Amendment is a dead letter." (citation omitted.)  Think about it. To protect one group Facebook will infringe on the rights of another?  Does that seem rather ironic?  Could Facebook be compelled in the future to remove the postings of the very same women's groups because someone or some group finds the woment's group's postings as offensive?

So what are we to do when we are offended by something said or written by another?  Well, I know what my actions are when I've been offended by something someone wrote or posted on Facebook. I either hide it, or I unfriend the person who made the statement or posted the offensive speech - and trust me, I've hidden plenty of sites!

It's amazing to me how much power we really do have by just deleting those messages ourselves, or unfriending those sites.  We don't have to be offended and demand it be removed.  We can be proactive and remove it from our page ourselves.  If enough people remove these offensive posts  from their personal sites, maybe then the offender will realize the post was not so fabulous and will remove the post him/herself.  Better that than to experience later that Facebook decides that my favorite daily posting by C.S. Lewis foundation, for instance, is offensive to another and removed from the site.  I might use that delete button on Facebook if it ever makes that move!  But that's just my point of view.

The Apology

Awww.... Who couldn't forgive that little baby!!!

Mom was my fortress. I could turn to her for information, advice, comfort, you name it, I knew she had my back.  But there were times when she was more like a stone.  She had this thing about not apologizing, or admitting she was wrong.  Rather than admit it, she'd turn away and clam up - not saying a word for HOURS.  I often felt like being right wasn't always the best. Ever heard the old adage "if momma ain't happy - ain't nobody happy!"  that was my momma.  Usually I would break the ice between us.  Don't get me wrong, I loved her immensely, she was my rock, and certainly my confidant throughout my life - I miss her to this day.  She just had this way of never admitting that she could possibly be wrong.  I often wondered, "jeez, how hard is it to say I'm sorry, Mom?  Do you know the words?  They're pretty easy to recite...."  Note that I said I'd wonder!  Trust me, I never uttered that phrase to her!!  But... unfortunately I learned that trait from her.  And to this day I find it difficult to apologize.  But an apology from me has to be sincere; it must be heartfelt.

We all know that words can hurt immensely, ...what about actions?  Can actions cause extreme hurt?  And if they can, shouldn't the injured person expect an apology?  What happens to those we injure if we don't express remorse?  Does the hurt go away, or does it linger around festering... leaving the injured wondering why?... what happened.  Don't you think they might just want to hear "I'm sorry I hurt you"; or: "I'm sorry, I was wrong."

Sincere apologies are
 never unappreciated

So does an apology help?  Really??
Here's my answer: it doesn't hurt, that's for sure!   Maybe the healing process begins... maybe the injured person begins to look beyond the hurt and begins to move forward - really start living again.  Maybe it brings closure to the issue.  And maybe - just maybe - a contrite apology brings the two together to heal the rift between them.  It literally doesn't hurt to say those words, "I'm sorry... I never meant to hurt you."

But there's more than just saying "I'm sorry;" complete it with "will you forgive me?"  Anyone can say 'sorry' for this, 'sorry' for that; but a true repentant soul asks for forgiveness.  That request, then, puts the ball back into the injured person's court.  Of course he/she must be willing to accept the apology - holding back nothing - and forgiving. Then!!! true healing begins.

Forgiveness, however, means never throwing the hurt back in the other person's face again, no matter how tough it might be.  Don't keep holding on to that hurt like a badge of - what- I don't know, because in the end it only keeps hurting you.  Furthermore, the roles, then, are reversed and you become the injurer.  It's not fair at all to the person who comes - hat in hand (so to speak) - to apologize. Forgiveness takes real effort, and is a sure sign of strength and maturity. Be a bigger and better person and receive what you wanted, and move on.  You are only hurting yourself, and any other apology that might be offered will likely be less than heartfelt,  and more forced and/or contrived.

Remember, life is way too precious to allow hurt to fester ugliness.  I know I'm full of old adages, but heres a true statement: "To err is human, to forgive, divine."  I've learned to forgive. Bet momma would be proud!

My Un-Known Hero!

Heroes pass in and out of our lives whether we know it or not.  Often we don't acknowledge their acts that create that hero status in our heads.  We may thank them - and I certainly hope we at least do that!!!, but how often do we feel as though we haven't said - much less done, enough?

In March during my last semester in college I managed to destroy my left knee during a ski

Ok, I didn't exactly ski like this.  But this is rather cool!

trip.  It required surgery, and recovery with therapy would be at least six weeks.  However, the last thing I wanted to do was withdraw from school my last semester.  My orthopedic surgeon said we could postpone the surgery so long as I planned on having it soon after graduation.  Being the accident happened in early March and graduation was in May, I had to hobble around on crutches for eight weeks.  

It's amazing how you can experience people's mettle when it comes to hobbling on crutches.  I had one student dash out in front of me and accidentally kick my left crutch from me. In order to keep from falling I caught myself on my bad leg.  Ughh, the pain was shot up my knee just about causing me to pass out.  Did he turn to see if I was ok?  Nope, but others grabbed me to keep me from falling, and just stood me up until I seemed to get my barings back.  Their kindness and concern really meant a lot to me.

But, and this is a big but!! - there was this one young man that I will never forget.  I wish I could say I knew his name, but alas I cannot.  All I can call him is my dark-haired hero.  What he did was about the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me.

Superman is missing the umbrella!!!

During that last semester I had one late afternoon class.  One particular rainy evening after class I hobbled outside, stopping under a overhang on the building just watching the rain pour from the heavens.  Obviously my hands were busy, and well, quite frankly, I didn't have a handy dandy umbrella that hooks onto crutches. I stood under that overhang for about ten minutes just hoping the rain would ease some.  I was parked across the street, but it may as well have been on the other side of campus.  I was destined to get  soaked just trying to make it to my car.  

As I stood there watching the rain, this young man exited the building.  He wasn't in any of my classes, I didn't know him from Adam.  But he looked at the rain and then at me. "Just waiting for the rain to stop," I said, answering his silent question.  

"Where's you car? he asked me.  

"Across the street."

"Oh." was his response.  He put his ball cap on his head and headed out into the rain toward his vehicle.  

I didn't expect much more than that.  Just making friendly conversation with the injured student. Yet, what happened next completely took me by surprise.  After he reached his vehichle, he thew his books into the front seat, closed the door, opened the back door, pulled out and umbrella and ran back toward me, unwrapping the strap around it.

"Ready?" he asked me as he opened his umbrella above my head.

"Really? Thank you so much, thank you so so much!"  I said.  He took my school bag from my shoulder and began walking behind me to my car, all the while covering me with his umbrella.  Bless his heart, it was so small, it only covered me - all the while he was getting wet, but he didn't seem to mind.  He stood behind me keeping the umbrella over me as I unlocked my car, and crawled into my seat.  He put my book bag behind me in the back seat, took my crutches and put them in behind me too, but within my reach.  I thanked him again as he closed my door, and soon he dashed off to his own vehicle, started it, and drove off.

I sat in my car for a minute just in awe of what had happened.  In the ten minutes that I stood under the overhang, several students exited the same building, pulled out their umbrellas and mosied on their way.  I can't blame them, I really didn't expect anything from them.  The former guy in my blog, quite frankly, exhibited what I had come to expect from many of those students.  They were younger, and displayed attitudes of "step aside, I'm coming through."  But the attitude of the dark-haired young man with the umbrella left me humbled -  feeling like I had many of them figured so wrong.  Yes, the one guy caused me to lose my barings when he kicked my crutch out from under me, but others around me held me up - keeping me from falling.  On the rainy afternoon, many saw me stand under the overhang, but only one returned to help me.  Would I do the same?  I learned from my dark-haired hero.

Indeed I graduated in May.  And for one week I was actually off the crutches and was able to walk across the stage to receive my diploma; but the next week

Always a Horned Frog!!  Graduation, 1998!

surgery was indeed scheduled, and boy am I glad I waited.  It was most painful!!

I never saw that young man again, and highly highly doubt he reads my blog. But he became my hero that particular day.  Not surprisingly, to this day I think fondly of a certain rainy day in April, during my last semester at TCU - just because of what this young man did.  To me it was a most selfless act; he didn't know me, I didn't know him. But he treated me like one would expect a gentleman would treat a lady (just shy of throwing a coat across a water puddle).  I had no doubt that young man was raised well, and with that kind of training, it gives me pause to say he was my un-known dark haired hero!

Affairs of the Heart: Battles of the Head

I just saw a great phrase: "Follow your heart, but take your head with you."  Smart thought....
I've often questioned, why is it the heart and the head don't communicate with each other? Why does the heart want what it can't have even when the head says no? When reality hits like a storm and you're left broken hearted, the head says, "see, told you you'd be devastated."  Stupid head: stupider heart....

Seems quite easy to think (totally incorrectly I might add) that when one relationship ends we can just move on to the next, and the next, and so forth, but that notion is so far from the truth.  Relationships affect all of us in completely different ways - no two are the same in any way, shape, or form.  Especially the relationships that are swift, intense -  those that take your breath away (not to mention they render the head silenced and worthless); if and when they end, you're left overwhelmingly devastated.  Everything in you (especially your head) says "you shouldn't have done this; you knew what was in store." ... but then the heart reminds you, "but it was so intense, excitingly passionate - so so severe."  Honestly, who wouldn't want a relationship that - to you (and you hope your love) - is exceptional, exciting, passionate?  And severe? Yes, even severe, and intense.  It's like a drug that you're just loathe to give up because in the middle of a high it is amazing (I don't speak from experience - just rhetorical).  But the let down is devastating - pure torture.  Just because it feels so doesn't mean it is amazing

Problem is, though, even after the hurt, all the feelings of loss and bewilderment, if given the opportunity I dare say I would run to it with no abandonment!  Why? because of the intensity - the overwhelming emotional connection, completeness, literally - the severity of it.  It would probably still end in unbelievable hurt, but it was such an amazing ride.  It was far more amazing than anything I've EVER experienced.  It's hard to imagine any future relationship could measure up to that intensity, at least in my heart.  But is that fair to me, or any possible relationship in the future?  Am I likely to measure others to this one? Will I toss a possible great man aside if our relationship lacks the passion I felt previously?

I'm sure some will say not all relationships are passion all the time.  But ... why not?  Why not feel those butterflies when I hear his baritone voice, or break out in a huge smile every time I see him?  If my smile melted my former love, could it melt another's? Or feel my heart race every time he touched or held me or looked at me with those deep baby blues.  Why should passion and desire be sucked out of relationships? Why lose those things that initially attracted us?

My former love use to retort to me that he looked hideous.  "Turn away"!  he'd say!  But to me he is the most handsome man I'd ever met - in my eyes he is a prize.  So maybe in his eyes he was hideous, but in mine he is beautiful, just as much as he said I was in his.

It will be hard to replicate that kind of relationship again.  But maybe I shouldn't want to.  If I saw the beauty in him, can I see the beauty in another?  I have to... I must.  I have to look with eyes wide open - with heart wide open... and with my head wide awake!!!

Will I ever find again a passion that everyday takes my breath away?  I can only hope so... I can truly only hope
so.

"follow your heart -  

but take your head with you"

Just a few musings for today

After church yesterday I ran by Target to pick up a few items I needed/wanted.  As the cashier was checking out my purchases I realized that I forgot my debit card, and certainly didn't have enough cash to walk out with my items.  I apologized to the cashier and she was ever so gracious. I left feeling like an idiot.  Why would I forget my card?  After I got home and parked my car in the garage under the building, I went to the elevator to go up to my apartment on the 9th floor.  Low and behold, the elevator wasn't working. I punched the button several times, but no amount of punching was going to make that puppy work!!  I ended up having to walk up nine floors.  Seems like no matter how much I walk around the zoo with my little dog walking up nine floors is rather  - well - let me just my chest was hurting, and I felt like I needed a new lung when I finally made it to my apt.

So after grabbing a drink of water, then another, I sat on the couch and thought, ouch!  Then it hit me - what would I have done if I had had my card and made my purchase?  I had a heavy jug of laundry detergent, a bag of dog food for Chewy, plus other food items for myself, including a dozen eggs.  Somehow I think I would have been a most unhappy person having to take four bags up nine floors - and my eggs would have been broken... don't ask how I know this.  Can you say, Providence?  Can you say, The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways???  When the elevator was up and running I finally did go back to the store and get what I went earlier to get.

Later I took Chewy for our walk down by the zoo.  It was an extremely windy Sunday in Fort Worth, but poor dog wanted his walk - and so did I.  As we walked around the perimeter of the parking lot I looked into the clear sky and noticed a hawk circling above.  I watched him circle and just glide ever so effortlessly above.  He didn't flap his wings for more height; he just tilted his body to let the wind take him higher. He glided, he soared; he looked like a skater who glides across the glass of ice. It looked so simple, and oh so beautiful.

As I watched him glide in the windy sky, I wondered, what would happen if he started flapping his wings? Ok, I know birds fight blustery wind - they fly!  They often have to fight the wind. But I probably wouldn't notice a struggling bird fighting the wind to get from point A to point B. Instead, I noticed a bird who allowed himself to enjoy the benefits of the wind - wings outstretched, and just - gliding! Instead of the wind being his enemy this day, it was his benfactor.  Free and easy - enjoying the gift given to him by God, the gift of flight!  He just graciously sailed across the blue Texas sky.  He never seemed to struggle, he just seemed to be enjoying himself.

So while he was just smoothly sailing, the bird seemed to show me - why struggle against the changing winds of life? We don't control our tomorrows - so why worry and struggle against what we may perceive as inevitable.  Why not just enjoy the present - the day you do know that you are living and have been guaranteed.  Just take the time to grab the wind under my wing, and just soar with it.  Seems to me it just makes life a bit easier.  Don't you think??

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Learning to Swim

Last week I was facing overwhelming floods in my life that just about drowned me, and I don't know how to swim.  It was one of those weeks where I kept wanting to blink my eyes and quote to myself - it's a dream, a terrible, awful dream!  But I'd open my eyes, and - nope - not a dream.  It was real. What's worse, it was my reality.  I almost wished those floods would wash me away - me or my situations.  But no, everything was still intact.  

And then something happened to me. I took charge.  ME!! I took control, and though I have yet to see a resolution that is satisfactory, nevertheless - I TOOK CONTROL!!!  I straightened my shoulders and started working on the issues. I - ME!!! - refused to continue being overwhelmed, and controled by the situation.  The week started tough, but I ended the week tougher.

My best friend sent me an email on Friday- she was checking on me  (I had sent her a missive asking for her prayers because of my situation).  I told her that though things were not resolved, still I was in a better state.  I was taking charge of the situation.  I told her that I really felt like I was drowning and she knows I can't swim.  She remarked in a missive - one that I will never erase - "Sorry, sounds like you're swiming, and you didn't know you could." Sometimes friends just know the right things to say at just the right time! 

Time to Lose Weight... UGH!!!

I need to lose weight!  No if-and's - or but's about it, I need to lose weight!  Most people start on weight loss programs at the beginning of the year, and yes, I suppose the middle of February is still the beginning of the year - it was a New Year's resolution - that I think I make every year....

MOOOOO!!!

But I'm not getting any younger, and if I don't take the bull by the horn (or in my case the cow by the utters) it will only get worse. Problem for me is - I hate diet programs, and no matter how they try to name it - lifestyle changes, weightloss training - blah-blah-blah- they are nothing more than diets.  Every program tells you what you can and cannot eat.  Problem is, each one tells me that I can't have what I want - like cream for my coffee, I'm sorry, I HATE the taste of black coffee no matter what flavor it is!  Or some say no dairy products; I tend to like yogurt in the morning, or milk in my cereal.  Some say more protein, others say less. "No eggs!"  I kinda like my eggs... "more eggs!"  Ok, I'm not going to eat eggs all day long! I guess I could do like my dad did years ago and put vinegar in everything he ate - EVERYTHING!!!  No, bleh - that was rather gross!!!

Now, I'm not a big candy or sweets eater. I can pass that donut from Krispy Kremes, or Cinnabon cinnamon rolls. People at my office have candy bowls at their desks and I can pass them by all day and all week long. But surely there is a something better that can make me happy.  Okay, let me be honest... for starters I know I can cut down on the amounts that I eat. Of course it's real fun trying to measure my food. (that's meant to be sarcasm) 

Think an image like this on my plate will
 cause me to eat less?

There is the concept of eyeing how much food I put on my plate.  Here's a thought, what if I put the food on the plate, eye it, and take off about 30% of it?  I wonder if that would work?  Then I can also start eating on smaller plates.  I've heard that buffet plates, or salad plates is a good way to limit your food because of their smaller size. It just looks like my plate is full.  It's more like a psyching myself tool.  I think this might work.

Okay, Bloggousphere - let me just put this out there.  IF any of you know of a way to lose weight without officially doing a "diet", please let me know!  Please tell me what has worked for you in the past, and if you were able to keep the weight off.  I'd really like to know what works for you.  I know exercise has to be a huge part of the program, and that I am doing - and need it add to it.  But there has to be more.  So I'm asking for your help.  Please forward any comments to me. I will read them all and will take them all under consideration.

As always!

What Ever Happened to Civility?

My supervisor relayed a story to us in a staff meeting that just made me question - what ever happened to civility?  He stated that recently he and his wife were at WalMart (not my favorite store under any circumstance), and after filling their basket went to the self-checkout stand.  They took their place behind a line of others waiting for the next spot to open.  Next thing he knew some character came from hell, where line jumping is the norm, went in front of the others in line taking a spot behind one of the self-checkout stands.  Others in the line told him to take his place at the end of the line - that's the purpose of the line!  Even my boss who was at the front of line by this time said something to guy, the guy just grunted at him and remained.  Nevertheless, when the stand opened, my supervisor - not a small man by any stretch of the imagination - scootched his way around the line-cutter from the metropolis of hell, and took the opened stand.  The line-cutter tried to make a stink, but - to no avail. It's not like anyone in line was going to stand up for "his rights!"  So in a huff he walked out of WalMart without paying for his item.  Smooth move, jack!  (Oh, wait, that should be jerk! The only Jack I know is a pretty great person!)  Well, that wasn't the end of it.  When my supervisor and his wife walked out of WalMart with their purchase the creodont line jumper thief pulled up along side them and threw a tumbler of liquid on him.  The rest of the story is non-important.

But this point is... why did this guy think it was okay to start the chain of events that led to his being a creep?  What made him think it was okay to pull up in front of a line of people and take his place at the next opened stand?  What made him think it was okay to blow off the remarks of the other patrons - ignoring them when they tried to tell him it wasn't okay to snake his way to the front of the line?  What made him think his time was more valuable or important than the patrons who did the right thing and stood patiently in line?  And then to walk out of the store without paying for his item(s)...AND... to throw something at the person who chose to show disapproval of the crescent's behavior in the store!!!  

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CIVILITY???

Where and when did it become tolerable for this type of behavior to even take place??  I can hear you all saying now - it's not tolerable - but isn't it??? Why is it that we normal everyday people put up with this type of behavior?  When and why did we start to tolerate this behavior? I'm not going to say things like "why can't it be like back in the 50's when we could keep our front screen doors open, or when kids could go outside and play in the front yard", but think about it;  WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CIVILITY?

Think about this: walk down the street and see some young kid wearing pants pulled down to his hips, his whole back end showing... Why bother wearing pants??? Like I really wanted to see your ugly underwear with your streaks up the back-end (ok, maybe not that), but REALLY???  Yet, do I say anything to him?Nope, not me for fear that he might pull out a weapon and injure or even  kill me.  Then who wins in this situation?  Why do we tolerate this type of behavior? Some clown will want to say, "it's freedom of expression".  REALLY??  I can think of better ways to express your freedoms without them being offensive to me and the general population.  My freedom of expression might be to walk up behind him and pull his pants up - giving him a major wedgie!!!

Is that it, though?  Are we afraid of pointing out wrong because we're afraid of dangerous retaliation?  My boss stated that maybe it wasn't such a smart thing to do what he did because  - what if instead of liquid the creep pulled out a gun and shot wife or him?  Wow!! So then - what? Does he never confront an injustice or a wrong for fear of retaliation from the evil-doer?  Do we all just let it happen because this isn't our issue, or whatever the reason might be, and the creeps start taking over?  When does it finally stop?  Will we ever be civil again?

I don't remember much about the movie "Total Recall", but what I do remember is that Arnold S's (I don't want to look up and see how to spell his name correctly) character lived in a closed society that was totally shut off from the uglies and deforms of the world.  The outside society suffered from pollution, never seeing the sun, just total grossness, they were the dregs, the ones that the others from the more polite society wanted nothing to do with, much less have any contact.  The movie was a huge stretch of imagination and fiction, but think about it; is it impossible to think that we might end up with walled off societies where the unwanted can never enter?  Aren't we sort of at that point now - try getting into some exclusive areas of your local towns and communities.  Yet, couldn't we become more desperate? It's really not a far stretch - Australia was once a penal colony of England several centuries ago.  The idea was to get the convicts far away from polite society.  Is it getting to the point where the opposite needs to happen?  Or is it getting to the point where we start to say, ENOUGH ALREADY!!!

WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO CIVILITY????

Chances, Choices: CHALLENGES, AND OPPORTUNITY!!

It's a new year!!  Yes, finally last year is over and a new year has begun!  It's great to think about the new year bringing new opportunties, chances, choices, and challenges - yes, even challenges.  And its these challenges and chances that will bring about the choices we make.  I am given the opportunity to make the best of these challenges, and this year to make the right choices.  

Therefore, I vow this year to really consider all factors when making decisions.  Decisions have consequences, and it's never good to make them "willy -nilly!"  Willy-nilly decisions usually come back to bite you on the bo-hiney.  They are the ones that take more time and money to correct.  So this year I am going to rationalize EVERYTHING; I will reason all points, and make a decision I can gladly stand behind, and even if it goes wrong, I will know that my decision was based on sound reasoning and thought. I am going to become a contemplative person!!! And if my reasoning skill fail me temporarily, I will wait - rarely is a decision made in haste the best deicison.  So rather than regret a bad decision or choice, I will hold on...I refuse to have regrets any longer.

HERE'S TO 2013!!!